Whether it's a genuine compliment or just an observation, I hear several times a week that my hair is getting longer and longer. Sometimes I tell the observer and sometimes I don't that I'm growing it out in order to donate it to charity when it is long enough.
I contemplated my ponytail the other day while running. I considered it's impact on my life and my attitude toward goal-setting. I thought about why and when I began the process of growing out my hair.
It was 2 years ago when my brother suggested that he, dad, sister and I sign up to run a 5K race. Are you kidding me? I had never been a runner in any way. Sure, I was in high school track, but thought I would die whenever I had to actually run. Also, that was over 20 years ago. Follow high school with 20 years of smoking cigarettes, and only 2 years of not smoking, and you can imagine the challenge I had ahead of me.
Quitting smoking might have been my first real attempt at goal setting, although with the help of a drug called Chantix, I was merely along for the ride. I didn't think of it as being a long-term change in my life at the time, but it was. I don't know if it was truly the first time I challenged myself in that way and reached a tangible goal, but quitting smoking definitely gave me the confidence to try some other new things.
To stave off any ex-smoker weight gain, I took a few fitness classes and felt like I was in pretty good shape when the race challenge was presented. My husband had no doubts that I could do it. I was completely scared. I really wanted to prove that I could run the whole 5K without stopping.
I began one of those "couch to 5K" programs I found on the internet. I followed the training religiously even though it was hard and I hated it! I remember feeling supreme dread as the day approached when I'd have to run for 10 minutes nonstop! It's funny now thinking back to those first efforts, but as my endurance improved, so did my self-esteem, and my mood. Slowly, over time, running started to be something I looked forward to doing.
The race was in September, and by that time my hair was just barely long enough to pull back into a tiny ponytail. That was when I decided to grow it out and donate it. I figured I wouldn't have to do anything but be patient and I can reach this new goal, and I'd be doing something good for someone.
As it grows longer it is becoming a symbol of change for me and a symbol of my personal growth. I can see by the length of my ponytail how long I've been a runner. It reminds me that not only did I run that 5K without stopping, but I have gone on to run lots of races since then including a 20K.
I'm learning the lesson of patience and that instant gratification is not necessarily a way to feel satisfied. While I wait for my hair, I have made some other promises to myself. I want to be debt free by the end of the year. What that means is that there is no using credit cards in 2011. Period. If I can't afford it, I save until I can. I opened an online savings account that helps me track how close I am to the goal of a new flat screen TV. I am 73% there! I can already imagine how I'm going to feel when it's installed knowing that I saved for many months to buy it. It's a strange and unexpected realization to find that waiting is comforting.
Recently, my husband decided to start running too! Despite running being a solitary meditative thing for me, it is really nice to find yet another thing you can do together. He leaves me in the dust, however, since his legs are so much longer than mine. It doesn't bother me though. I just keep pounding the pavement.
It's not a contest.
I will never beat him in a race. I don't care about winning. I already feel like a winner in my heart and plan on continuing to set goals both small and large, to stay motivated to improve myself and to help others while simplifying my life day by day.
All I can say is that now more than at any other time in my life, I'm really enjoying the ride.
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